Computer Friday - Patches didn't break your stuff..

I hear it all the time. "IT installed patches and now my computer is broken."

Yeah, right. First of all, I install patches. Well I have a big server that does it for real but I push buttons like no one's business. So, I know what the patches are capable of. And on a side note, when a person out there in cube land says "IT" do they know what the heck they are talking about? My experience is no. Anyway, I digress. About these patches. See everything needs to be patched. The operating system, your programs and even hardware. So it's a necessary evil. Like staff meetings. A long long time ago, in a galaxy far away, (ok IT folks are a little nerdy) patches could and did break stuff. But that day is long gone. I still test my patches because I like to be safe but haven't had patching break anything as long as I can remember.

So, patching is necessary. It fixes and enhances and protects your computer. It's going to happen so just relax and let it happen.

Here is what patching won't do.

• Cause your voicemail not to work. Adobe acrobat has nothing to do with your phone.
• Cause your laptop to change your password. Um, I don't patch your laptop. Especially not your personal one.
• Cause your emails to disappear. Maybe if you didn't click on the sort button and sort your emails from oldest to newest, then you'd see your new emails. Just saying.
• Cause vision problems. Stay with me on this one, it's like a little play.

"IT installed patches and now I can't see anything on my monitor."

"Is the computer on?"

"Yes, well I can see something but there is a glare coming in through my window from the sun."

"Wait, you can't see your screen because of sun glare?"

"Yeah, this just started happening after IT installed a patch or something this weekend."

Or it's just that the time changed and the sun is in a different position now when you come to work. And you just need to lower the blinds in your office. I really am a computer genius.

Back from the dead

My blog is now a zombie. It's been dead for over 2 years now while I was off doing so much exciting stuff that I couldn't possibly put all my adventures into words. All right, I'm lying. I just got bored with it after a few posts and left it to rot.

Does this mean I'm going to be a posting machine like my beautiful wife, Brigid Kemmerer? Yeah, probably not. But who knows, maybe I will. Maybe I will become famous for my witty posts. I will have hundreds, no THOUSANDS, of followers hanging on my every word.

What's probably going to happen though is this. I will blog about crap that is going on for about 2 months. Then the zombie blog will die again.

Only to see daylight in 2013. ggrrrrrrrrrr. (that's the sound zombies make in case you didn't know.)

Um. Facebook is Stupid

So I naturally have a page. I didn't mean too. Honest. But I was bored in a training class last week and one thing lead to another and well there you go. I'm not proud. So instead of admitting my mistakes, did I just let the page wither and die? No I added a whole bunch of stuff to it and check it 3 or 4 times a day. What in the hell is wrong with me?

My friend r0n would say that I'm gay. But that's pretty much his answer whenever I ask that question.

I have 11 friends now on Facebook. Mostly made up of people that I know from work and a few relatives. And my wife. It's not the most happening page on the intertubes by far (nor is this one for that matter) but it kills a couple of minutes at a time. And really, isn't that something that we all need more of?

I'm pissed

I've been waiting to get a Wii Fit. I didn't pre-order one from Amazon because I thought that I would have no problem getting one. I was wrong.

So I searched and finally last night, I was in Best Buy and they had 2! WOOT, I was so pumped to get it home and when I got it hooked up it won't sync. Over and over again the fucking thing blinks at me. I pushed the button on the balance board and the button on the Wii.

BLINK

BLINK

BLINK

It took all I had not to throw the thing on the floor.

So maybe it's the batteries. Out I go to CVS at 9:50, in the rain to get new batteries.

Get home with 8 AA duracell batteries. The HIGH POWERED ones especially made for electronics. (What a crock) Put the batteries into the balance board and the board said, "Fuck you."

Didn't even turn on.

I didn't even get a courtesy blink.

I just got bent over the coach and reamed.

Fucking electronics.

We also bought a new dishwasher last night, what are the chances that the guy hooks it up on Friday and it spews water and suds all over the house on Saturday?

Pretty good if you ask me.

I love Will Ferrel

23 days until 40

My 40th birthday is coming up. In 23 days to be precise, hence the title.

This picture to the right shows you how cool I am. Or was anyway. Replace the Atari with a Commodore 64 and you'll know what my desk in my bedroom looked like 25 years ago.

Yeah, that's a tape drive on the shelf below printer. And I would kill to have those Return of the Jedi glasses back.

Break up the ORIOLES!

WOOHOO!!!!

The Birds are in first place!!!


What? It's only April 7th? Screw you, I'm enjoying this.